It’s the time of year that girls on Instagram call “spooky season”. Back in my day we just called it Halloween, but that means Halloween parties are in full swing. And the New Jersey Devils are no exception. This past Saturday, one day removed from their loss to the Arizona Coyotes, was the annual team Halloween party. Back in the Lamoriello days, Lou would follow a loss by locking the team in a dungeon underneath Continental Airlines Arena. In the Shero era, Halloween festivities are allowed.
The team came out in full costume for the event, much to the delight of social media. I’m not going to lie, but some of the costumes were better than others. Since I have a few hours before I have to worry about trick or treaters, let’s take a look at the Devils’ costumes.
Truth be told, I had no idea who Zacha was supposed to be dressed as. Thanks to the modern miracle of Instagram tags, I found out he was supposed to be Post Malone. My best guess would have been a zombie with questionable face tattoos, which is basically what Post Malone is anyway. At the end of the day, I’ve seen college sorority girls pull off this costume better. Zacha improved on the ice but not in the Halloween department. Also posted on Instagram, Zacha showed his costume was to match his girlfriend’s Tekashi 69 (never thought I’d write that name in a hockey article) costume. Even if Zacha’s costume was less than spectacular, I’ll give them a 4/10 for the coordinated effort.
Another person who I had no idea what he was supposed to be. Does he look like an English Newsie? Or a hipster bartender who’s about to tell me “sorry, we don’t have Coors Light, is (insert IPA here) alright? ” Thanks once again to Instagram tags, I found out he was supposed to be a character from “Peaky Blinders”. I still have no idea what “Peaky Blinders is,” so a 3/10 for trying to be cultured.
Jesper Boqvist and Jesper Bratt
The Jespers team up for a groovy double costume. Don’t know if they’re supposed to be anything specific, but far out, man. I didn’t recognize them at first, unlike Pavel Zacha’s half-assed Post Malone attempt. Also props to the two that should be in the lineup that Hynes keeps leaving them off for teaming up for their Halloween costumes. It’s original, but could have had more creativity. Final score 6/10.
The Goose is Loose came dressed as a beer mascot, the famous Duffman from “The Simpsons.” Nothing says “I understand American culture” like dressing like a cartoon character from a show that probably should have been canceled ten years ago. I don’t even know if they have “The Simpsons” in Russia, so Gusev might have just started watching it. Party on like its 1992, Goose. Even though it’s obviously store-bought, I give it an 8/10.
While he’s on the IR with a broken pinky, that didn’t stop Carrick from a little spooky season fun. The player constantly compared to Harry Potter decided to dress up another famous magical English guy and be Freddie Mercury. Throw on a few regular pieces of wardrobe, and add a fake mustache that would make the Pringles man jealous, and bam you’re the lead singer of Queen. Nice mustache Carrick, but it will NEVER compare to Adam Henrique’s, and for that, I give you a 7/10.
Not really sure what Miles Wood is here. Is he a generic cowboy? Or is he supposed to be a famous rapper and the only person keeping Billy Ray Cyrus relevant, Lil’ Nas? I’ll give Wood the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to be culturally relevant and be Lil’ Nas. Still, it’s a terrible costume. Seriously, you look like James Franco in a low budget Western movie. 4/10 because Miles Wood gives me agita on and off the ice.
While the Washington Nationals played their way to the World Series playing “Baby Shark”, John Hayden dressed up as one. Maybe he wasn’t referencing the most annoying song of 2019 as much as he was paying tribute to left shark. Remember left shark from the Katie Perry Super bowl half time show? He danced for us when no one else did. 6/10 for Quenneville’s replacement.
Hughes put minimal effort into his costume and somehow managed to look even younger than he actually is. I’ll give Hughes a pass here. With all that goal-scoring he’s done, he probably didn’t have a lot of time to dedicate to a costume. Bonus points for kinda and sort of matching Jesper Boqvist and Jesper Bratt. 5/10 stay Groovy and Stay Scoring.
WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hynes’ prodigal roster spot decided to dress up as the Devils’ spiritual leader, the legendary wrestler Rick Flair. Although he might not be the Devils’ best skater, for this one party he was a kiss stealing, wheeling and dealing, son of a gun who got the style and profile like never before. After seeing Rooney dressed like this, I want to take back all the bad things I’ve said about him. 10/10 and an extra WOOOOOOOOOO and it’s Showtime.
Okay, rewind to Friday night when I check Instagram and stumble upon a picture of a random girl I knew in college dressed as the volleyball from “Castaway,” with her boyfriend dressed as Tom Hanks. Honestly, I thought it was the dumbest costume I had ever seen. Fast forward to Saturday and Blake Coleman’s incarnation completely changed my mind. Not to mention the video of his dog seeing shipwrecked Coleman for the first time is priceless. 9/10 for really committing to the role.
On the Devils’ Instagram page, the last picture is a crowded group picture. You can make out Andy Greene and his wife dressed as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo. Quick guys, split up and look for clues why the New Jersey Devils can never keep a lead. I don’t have a rating for their costume, I just really wanted to make that joke.
Lindsay Vonn and NJ Devil:
One notable absence from that night’s festivities was P.K. Subban. Perhaps he was too busy at a fedora warehouse, but the ever-gracious NJ Devil stepped in as Ms. Vonn’s date. Even better, NJ Devil dressed as P.K. Subban to complete the couple. Vonn didn’t seem to be wearing a costume, but she did have some choice words for Gritty. An Olympic gold medalist roasting the meth muppet from the City of Brotherly Love, you love to see it. I give them a 12/10.